Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
