Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
