I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
