Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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