at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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