Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
