My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
