She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
bring money and cleavage
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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