I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
