we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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