I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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