Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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