For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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