Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
