I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So apparently I’m into choking now
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