I have demons in me.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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