Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
