I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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