if i died would you start the facebook group?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
