p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
