OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize