sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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