I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
