I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
