Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry AlbinoBlackSheep hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.

Fav 13 4811 1537
share tweet
(213): View more from California

You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.

Fav 14 3217 1391
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(817): View more from Texas

I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.

Fav 4 2186 1537
share tweet
(778): View more from British Columbia

When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.

Fav 18 4779 2543
share tweet
(518): View more from New York

Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.

Fav 8 994 1479
share tweet
(406): View more from Montana

Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him

Fav 2 1823 802
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.

Fav 7 950 1546
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(315): View more from New York

you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain

Fav 1 702 515
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.

Fav 0 56 30
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT