he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize