This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Randomize
