woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
