hotel room ftw
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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