I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
he fucked my hip out of place.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
