Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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