I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So much rum. So many feels.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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