I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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