we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
