I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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