Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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