I saw his package. It spoke to me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
