i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize