All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize