the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
