So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
