Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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