My hand turned me down
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just google imaged poop.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
