i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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