She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I will be naked everywhere
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
