No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
