You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize