all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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