once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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