left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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