I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
