when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
