do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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