If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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