So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
