If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
