I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
