Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize