why didn't you poke me back
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Randomize
