Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
