You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
